Tears
I wrote this just after my father died. I’m still not sure if I like it or if it correctly conveys what I was feeling. I’ve thought about deleting it, but just can’t. It still whispers to me.
I cry tears you cannot see
I say words you cannot hear
I have pain you cannot feel
Tears you can only see
If you look into my eyes
Past the veil I have hung
Words you can only hear
If you listen to my heart
Beyond the wall I have built
Pain you can only feel
If you hold me in your arms
And let me cry
I cry tears you cannot see
I say words you cannot hear
I have pain you cannot feel
Tears you can only see
If you look into my eyes
Past the veil I have hung
Words you can only hear
If you listen to my heart
Beyond the wall I have built
Pain you can only feel
If you hold me in your arms
And let me cry
posted by Kaymbree Grey at 10:34 PM
1 Comments:
Kaymbree,
This poem, while full of sorrow, seems to have a hint of remorse in it. If we take away the note at the top this poem could fit into anyones life. It could be a wife talking about a husband, a child taking about their parent, or even a stranger lamenting the lose of the chance to talk to someone.
Its strongest point is the pain that lies within each stanza. The words you've chosen "cannot," "can only," and the use of the senses brings out to the very front of this poem a sense of loss.
I love the line "Beyond the wall I have built" because without saying directly that you have built a wall around your heart and not let anyone in, you give the feeling of being off in the distance, a sense of broken-heartedness (is that a word?) that has to be overcome. Overall...another good poem.
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